After Kutner
by Divegirl
Summary: After the death of Lawrence Kutner, House's team is at a loss. They stumble for words, their minds race and they just don't know what to do. House is even showing some emotion! I think it's pretty sad, and I hope you cry! Please read and review! One-shot.


I don't own, so don't sue!!! Please!

After Kutner:

House was Walking down the hallway, followed by his team of doctors. His team, minus one.

He turned a corner, walked a little more, and then entered the room with the door labeled: _Gregory House M.D, Diagnostician._ House sat down in his chair, still the room was silent. He looked up at his team minus one (which only amounted to two and Foreman) and he sighed.

"So, what do we do now?" He asked grimly, looking down at his lap where his cane rested. It was wooden and old-looking. It had been used for a long time it seemed. He had left his other one in his home, grabbing his wooden one in place of his metal one when he had hurried out the bathroom to get his coat on. He rubbed his finger up and down the polished wood that was beginning to splinter.

"We get a new case." Thirteen was looking down at her black, leather shoes, polished underneath her long lab coat. They were the only sign that she was in a normal state of mind. Her hair was secured back in a bun that looked like she had taken only two seconds to do it. Pieces were falling out and she had two long chunks that hung over her downcast face. She had dark circles under her eyes, something that she would usually have tried to conceal, to hide that she had been up late crying, or at least pondering about the meaning of life.

"I talked to Cuddy. She said that we can take a rest for a while until we can get calmed down a little-" Foreman tried to break the looming silence that filled the tense room. But we was cut off by Taub(*See author's note), who wanted to just get away from the situation.

"We don't need to calm down. What we _need_ is to get our minds off of this tragedy and just get back to work. We can't afford to just sit here and cry all the time." Thirteen shuddered. House was right, she had been crying all night. She almost had craters in her cheeks. "Where are the possible cases?" Taub asked, looking for files in someone's hands. There were none.

"Taub, we don't need another case. I think that we all need a break." Foreman was at it, nagging Taub again. Thirteen kept on looking down, that perfect nose was aimed straight at the carpet of House's office.

"Why? So that you can go cry about it? I think that Thirteen has done enough crying for now." House got Thirteen to look up at last, and when she did, her face was solid anger.

"Just because I am a girl doesn't mean that I am the only one who has feelings around here!" She was trying hard not to cry. Really hard.

The silence came again, the tension built. It was like an excecution. Nobody dared to speak because their heads would be cut off too.

_If only Kutner were here_, Taub thought. _There wouldn't be a silence like this for too long. And there would be no reason to have this either. I, I _hate_ him for this! _He couldn't believe that he actually said that. Kutner was one of his best friends. _Kutner would be so mad at me if he could hear this...Oh! Maybe he got mad at me for something and _I_ am the reason he killed himself! No, I _can't_ be the reason! There must have been something that was bothering him that he couldn't-wouldn't talk about to anyone-not even me! And that is the reason that he is dead. Not because of you. No, there is nothing that you could have done..._

Thirteen was still looking House in the eye, angrily staring. _Keep it up, Hadley. Don't let him think any sexist things about you. Don't let him tease the feminie race about being 'too soft'. You are just as strong as he is, even more so. Don't let him know what you are thinking. This is a game-this whole thing is a game, and somewhere there is a reset button. I just have to find it. It is a nightmare, and I have to wake up to find Kutner at the table with his coffee, making stupid statements and playing stupid tricks on House. Giving us stupid explanations for a differential diagnosis, and then laughing it off stupidly when House solved the mystery in the end. This is all a dream! No, it's not! You and Foreman were the first to find him dead! You _saw_ the blood and you _saw_ the gun. You picked up Kutner's head and held his _limp_ body while Foreman called for an ambulance. Things will _never_ be the same!_ Thirteen fought against tears blindly, while House pondered as to what to do. He looked so emotionless! Like he didn't _care_ that one of his doctors was dead, that he had a 'team' of depressed doctors to deal with, to make better.

"Go and work in the clinic for the rest of the day." He ordered quietly, if that was even possible. He was still searching for the answer. The answer to life's stupid game.

"Nobody even noticed that he was hurting!" Thirteen spoke. "I mean, nobody even realized." Taub did.

"I did." He said grimly. House was getting impatient. He wanted to be alone. "He was... he didn't like the way he looked. Said that he wished that he looked different. I told him that it doesn't matter and that he is-uh, was a great doctor, no matter where he came from or what happened to his parents." Taub seemed more depressed than anyone had ever seen.

"There is a difference between being self-conscious and being suicidal, Taub." Thirteen said, getting defensive.

"Go and work clinic duty!" House was getting irritated.

The doctors obeyed the second order blindly. They had no minds at a time like this. They just followed orders and walked away limply.

When the last of the tree left the office, House turned to the large rain-streaked window and looked outside at nothing in particular.

_What are you going to do Greg? You need to hire a new doctor. But it is going to be so hard to find a doctor so willing and smart as Kutner. You are going to need to take time on this one. Do you even really need another doctor? I mean, you and your team did fine with that woman and her husband in the end, right? But, what happens if your genius doesn't win over the illness next time? It always has been you that saved the patient, or one of your stokes of genius that inspired the doctors to save the patient, and what if you genius fails you or you die? Lets face it, you are getting old, House and besides, these doctors need to know that Kutner's spot can be filled. He _is_ one in a million. Even if I _will_ miss him, that doesn't make him irreplaceable. It's settled then. I will be hiring a new doctor. But- _House's brain paused for just a moment._ Kutner._ A single tear rolled down his unshaven cheek. House popped a pill. To heal the pain.

A/N *You won't believe it. I was proofreading and I saw that I accidentally put Kutner's name in place of Taub's! I am a wreck!!! I still am in shock!!!!!! I hope you enjoyed and maybe even cried a little. But I won't ask you to admit to it, because I know that 'Everyone Lies'. Read and Review please! Reviews are my friends!!!!

-Divegirl


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